Our modern world has connected self-worthiness with wealth, accomplishments and achievements. All of this relates more to what we do, rather than who we are. Our subconscious mind wants to fit in, to feel accepted and to feel safe. We are faced with so many external pressures that continuously tell us we are “not enough”: not doing enough, not owning enough, not pretty enough, not young enough – and the list of “not enough” is endless. All of this can leave us feeling lonely, rejected and unsafe.
A lack of self-love, or sense of self, has significant impacts on both physical and mental health. Any of the following may result: depression, anxiety, self-criticism, negative self-talk, self-comparison, perfectionism, increased stress, worry, overwhelm, doubt, toxic relationships, unhealthy coping mechanisms, self-harm and more.
Self-love can be challenging for a wide variety of complex reasons including cultural and societal influences, trauma and past experiences, emotional wounds, lack of self awareness, fear of vulnerability and more.
Ayurveda, the ancient Indian system of medicine, fosters self-love through its holistic approach to health and wellbeing. The mind influences the physiology and pathology of the physical body. The three doshas; vata/air, pitta/fire and kapha/earth, are energies that govern the bodies physiology. They are interconnected with the energies of one’s mental disposition, which can include sattva/purity or clarity, rajas/turbulence, or tamas/inertia.
Ayurveda provides a safe context from which we can come to understand our own challenges to self-acceptance and self-love. The framework provided through this timeless holistic lens is directly applicable to modern pressures and is supportive, compassionate and offers accountability. This work is not easy – but it is so worth it!
The Instagram version of self-care can seem ‘fluffy’ and out of touch with so many people’s realities and experiences. Ayurveda understands every individual is unique and their journey towards self-love should be as unique as they are. There is nothing inherently wrong with these ideas presented of the ‘perfect’ morning routine, ‘perfect’ exercise plan, ‘best’ journaling exercises or even ‘best’ matcha lattes. But the truth is there is no such thing as ‘perfect’ and believing there is (even subconsciously) is a mistake. In Ayurveda, everything can be considered medicinal depending upon how it is used, for whom, and under which circumstances. These factors help to determine if something is medicinal or toxic.
Ayurveda understands that the deepest onset of disease is forgetting our true nature as Spirit.
The Sanskrit word for health, or perfect health, is svastha. Broken down and translated we have
‘Sva’-meaning ‘self’ and ‘stha’- meaning ‘established in.’ In Ayurveda, being “established in the self” refers to achieving a state of deep connection and alignment with one’s true nature or essence. This concept is closely related to the principles of self-awareness and self-acceptance. It is about embodying our true nature and essence while embracing the interconnectedness of all beings.
Ojas and Svastha
Ojas translates to immunity, vitality, vigor and lust for life. When we have healthy levels of Ojas we have contentment, ease and joy. We view life from a perspective of abundance as opposed to scarcity. Lack of self-love, or low self-esteem, stems from a scarcity mindset whereby the nervous system does not feel secure. This also translates to a state of low Ojas. When Ojas or immunity is low one cannot be in a state of svastha or optimal health. There is a lack of being established in the self.
Ayurveda’s approach to optimal health.
The art of being builds Ojas. This is to say that whenever one is in the present moment, not in the past or the future, Ojas is increasing. Being in the present moment fosters acceptance on so many levels. Ayurveda’s approach to increasing self-love involves building Ojas, balancing the doshas and increasing sattva.
Often you hear that the first step to change is increasing self-awareness. I might argue here that the first step is the desire to increase awareness. What makes increasing awareness so difficult is that it involves actually sitting with, and facing, one’s fears. Considering what one doesn’t like about themself puts them in a very vulnerable position. The reason symptoms have manifested in the first place is because one has been blocking themselves from their fears. To go into them and face them directly is not easy, but it is also not easy to live in pain and from a scarcity mindset.
It is important to remember that change takes time. Old patterns are hard to break and it is more necessary to stay committed to trying. The work rests in detaching from immediate results, and building trust – or faith – that small steps taken today are cumulative toward creating long-term changes.
The golden rule to healing in Ayurveda is “like increases like” and “opposites balance”. How one’s lack of self-love manifests determines which qualities one would want to increase to restore balance. For example the inner critic is a manifestation of the fire element. The inner critic is a fighter that pushes one to fight both against themself and the world. Fire is hot, sharp, dry, penetrating and intense. Balancing qualities are cool, heavy, moist, and flowing. Practicing surrendering is wonderfully medicinal to the inner critic. Surrender involves soft, flowing and calm qualities.
Lack of self love may manifest as feeling stagnant, dull, and unmotivated. This is an expression of excess earth element which is heavy, cold, and inert. Movement and reconnecting or connecting with one’s passions help to stoke the healthy fires of the body that are clouded by the excess earth.
Self-Love Begins with Self Care
Priorities
How one’s time is spent is a reflection of their priorities, even if it is subconscious. I encourage you to reflect on how you spend your time. What priorities are being revealed through this lens?
Now, ask yourself what priorities are in true alignment with yourself?
What do you need and what are you craving?
Do any of the following come up for you?
~ rest
~ nourishment
~ fulfillment
~ joy
~ ease
~ harmony
Would you say you are currently prioritizing these things?
Boundaries
What tangible action would you have to make in order to spend more of your time living in alignment with your priorities?
What would you need to let go of in order to make space for these new priorities?
What tangible action would you have to make to make this possible?
Compassion
It is not going to be easy. Doing the work is hard. But it is oh, so worth it! Be gentle with yourself – calm, cool, flowing qualities will support you on this journey.
Confidence
Con Fe is the latin derivative of confidence, this translates to ‘with faith.’ Faith is the opposite of fear. Faith is a form of security. Having faith enables one to move from a place of abundance over scarcity. Building confidence builds Ojas.
The journey to self love is the most incredible love story you will ever write and as Clinical Ayurvedic Specialists – and humans on our own paths of self-love and self-healing – we are here to walk alongside this journey with you!
Article authored by Chloe Chaput, who is dedicated to her role as a Clinical Ayurvedic Specialist to work with women’s health, male and female fertility challenges, parents or caregivers, and children to address a variety of clinical health concerns at the root of their cause. Contact Path Wellbeing today to set up your appointment with Chloe Chaput, CAS.
The information contained within this article is for educational purposes only and should not replace the direct advice of a doctor or other qualified healthcare professional. Always consult a medical or other professional healthcare provider when considering a new health regime.
